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Mazda’s marketing slogan is “We Build Mazdas.” They decided on it after rejecting others like: “Mazdas Are Cars” and “Buy Mazdas With Money”
I`m sticking to my guns ... I really should have washed my hands after I ate.
This hangover feels like Quentin Tarantino directed it.
Hey Ladies..Prince charming is Gay and living with Mr. Right
Slow dancing with a fat girl? More like moving a fridge by yourself.
Admitting you have a problem is half the battle. Convincing everyone else that they`re the problem is the other half.
Judging from the bar receipts, ATM withdraws, hand stamps, and the glitter in my car, I now realize I`m a ball of fun when I black out.
My relationship is mostly me apologizing for saying something super bada$$ and hilarious
Being single is the worst sh!t ever. Being in a relationship is a close second.
I`m a little ticked off, I checked a book about surgery out of the library and when I opened it up I found that someone had taken the appendix out
The only correct answer to the question are you sleeping is no.
I fight evil wherever it may be ... except in dark, scary places.
The only time I’ve passionately knocked everything off a table was when I was trying to make room for a pizza.
What was that idiot thinking when he invented white underwear?
So I danced like no one was watching. My court date is pending.