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not to brag but I finished this 14 day diet in 3 hours and 38 minutes.
It`s not everyday you find a $50 bill in your pocket, I didn`t, but like I said it`s not everyday..
the dude who posted ”MERRY CHRISTMAS“ has still got his head shoved up the turkeys A$$ it seems...
I need to re-home a dog. It’s a small terrier and tends to bark a lot. If your interested, let me know and I’ll jump over my neighbors fence and get it for you.
You can turn anything into a compliment if you`re delusional enough.
Before you decide to spend less time on social media... make sure you go to every social media website and tell everyone.
Those friends who like and at the same time unlike my statuses please you`re increasing my blood pressure!
You think you are too small to make a difference? then you have never spent a single night with a mosquito.
Sometimes I feel like giving up...Then I remember I have a lot of motherf*ckers to prove wrong
My talent is being wasted, if that counts as a talent.
Can anyone tell me how to become a illegal immigrant, their benefits are undeniably more superior to our own.
I wish I had money so I could be eccentric instead of just weird.
An important phone call is something that occurs when there`s no better excuse to ignore someone.
Don`t EVER break a pinky promise. That sh!t is LEGIT.
"Is everything OK?" "Well, I`ve been kind of down since the divorce..." "I meant with your pasta, sir."