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"I`d hit that" -old people who drive
The guy that discovered milk...What was he doing to that cow?
I hate it when I put on my apple bottom jeans and cannot find my boots with da fur!!
When someone asks if you lost weight, the correct response is always, "no, it just seems like it to you because you got fatter."
White girls be like: I`ll have one triple mocha dark chocolate ugg boot raspberry white iphone 5 double caramel infinity sign frappe please.
Sorry I was staring at your nachos while you were talking about your painful divorce
I`d like to be poor for a day, because being poor everyday gets to be real annoying after awhile.
You can tell a man`s age by how close their socks are to their knees.
I`m not necessarily saying that I am or am not a super hero, but I do occasionally stand with my hands on my hips.
I once shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
Good for you, people that do things.
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
I`m on that “Starts tomorrow” diet.
When I see a girl with a lot of makeup, I want to use my finger and write WASH ME on her face…
Having a pen!s is like having a friend that always wants to play.