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I`ve gotten to that age where nothing fits right anymore. Even my birthday suit looks like it needs ironing...
One minute without you feels like 60 seconds.
Happy 4th of July ... U can toss out the Christmas tree now
If you never used that plastic thing that keeps pizza from sticking to the box lid as GI Joe`s poker table you`re too mature for me.
I`m at my best mathematically when I wake up before the time my alarm is set for
I`m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off a bunch of sh!t all at the same time.
I don`t think any of my vampire jokes will ever see the light of day.
Iām a pervert, but in a romantic way.
I just did a bunch of crunches and curls. There were Nestle Crunches and cheese curls, but still. I`m exhausted.
I need to do laundry so bad I`m actually wearing Christmas stockings
Don`t be sad if you didn`t get a Valentine`s Day gift, lt`s not the end of the world. That`s still ten months away.
I wish I could pick which brain cells the alcohol kills....There`s ALOT of crap I wish I could forget about.....
Iām on a forgotten-name basis with quite a lot of people.
You`re one of a kind! Thank goodness...
Probably a good thing I`m not a ghost cause I`d just stay in the kitchen and scare people then eat all their food.