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Woah.. the room is spinning.. I knew the world revolved around me.. ;)
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present....They are due back at the library today.
Who`s up for some curling in my driveway?
I hate when I´m laughing & my a$$ falls off.
Doing absolutely nothing on the weekends has started to feel more fun than actually going out.
You’re the shampoo in the eyes of my life.
I peed so hard that a little laugh came out
Its O.K. to laugh during sex … just don’t point ! ... trust me
A lie is a great story that someone ruined with the truth.
It`s so cold, I just got a $5 foot long from subway, but by the time I got back to my car it was only 6 inches.
I think, therefore i`m single.
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around. Observe them. Write down notes.
Have you ever been cutting a piece of pager with scissors and worried that you might cut an atom in half and destroy the world?
When a guy says "I`m Fine" what he is really trying to say is that he is fine.
If two wrongs don`t make a right, try three.