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Today: I`m going to be understanding, productive, and nice. WHAT? Stop laughing! I`m serious!
Is it just me or when you turn off the computer by holding down the power button, it feels like Iām choking it to death.
Sometimes I like to go to the hardware store and run around with a screwdriver shouting, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a drill!"
Oh and BTW,,, Why haven`t Pig Pen`s parents been visited by child services yet?
All I ask is to one day live in a house with secret passages.
Be friend with stupid people.., feel like genius all the time
Why is it called stealing when your WIFI is trespassing in my house?
Sorry I kept stopping erratically. I was pumping SCREW YOU in Morse Code with my brake lights.
If you ever find lotion on a guy`s night stand, it`s not because he wants to moisturize his skin.
I ordered some bubble wrap online. It arrived in a box surrounded by packing peanuts.
Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.
Due to Global Warming Santa will be giving out Solar Panels to all the naughty kids this year!
I only support ghost hunting if you need the ghost for food.
If you put a "Student Driver" sign on top of your car, Nobody will ever suspect you of drunk driving.
Girls are supposed to dance. That`s why god gave them parts that jiggle.