Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Oh no! I have to enter my date of birth to view this explicit content! Damn this internet security!
I just took a 5 hour energy and a sleeping pill...LET THE BATTLE BEGIN.
I think the tie was invented by someone who wanted to express how he felt about work but thought an actual noose was too obvious.
Change is hard. Seriously, have you ever bit a nickel?
Nuclear physicists can be lots of fun. They`re often referred to as the half life of any party.
What’s a drunken pirates worst nightmare? A sunken booty with no chest.
My apartment is so dirty that I actually lost my last girlfriend to the 5 second rule.
is cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
I always try to behave but there are usually too many other options.
It`s not my fault you thought I was normal.
Boss: "Are you texting?" Me: "No, I`m Tweeting." Boss: "What`s the difference?" Me: "Texting would imply that I have friends."
This post was going to be really funny but I didn`t write it down because I was totally sure I`d remember it.
If anybody in North America needs a napkin, hit me up. I should have enough in my car’s glovebox for each of you.
when people fall in love they are called " love birds." when they fight they are called "angry birds."
If A-B-C-D didn`t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn`t have to be so rushed.