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Aging is inevitable, Maturing is optional.
Just got back from a vacation in Nevada...turns out that money can by you love.
Any question is a hard hitting question when it`s written on a brick and thrown full force at your face.
Buying new Nikes, call that soul searching
Stop asking why I’m still single. I don’t ask how you’re still married.
If I text with “Almost there!” I haven’t left yet.
Some of you take selfies from so close up, I`m beginning to wonder if you`re a T-Rex.
Sex, drugs, and candy crush all have one thing in common. It’s only an addiction if you start paying for it.
....so then I said, "What gives YOU the right to judge ME?" And then he gets all, "Order in the court!" and starts pounding his gavel down...
How much Hershey`s Chocolate Syrup can I add before it`s really not a SlimFast shake anymore?
It’s like I was put on this earth so unstable people have somebody to date.
Want to watch a nerd have a melt down? Tell him that you just bought an Android Ipad.
Today I saw a girl with the word "Anel" on her butt. I was like, woah..it`s supposed to say "Anal"..it`s spelled wrong then I realized it was supposed to say "Angel". The G was stuck in her a$$crack
My body needs a refresh button.
I will literally spend $20 on food but won’t buy a $20 shirt.