Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sorry I`m late... I accidentally pulled the chain on the ceiling fan one too many times for like 9 hours straight.
There is no such thing as a stupid question, but there are such things as stupid people who ask questions.
Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it’s strapped to the top of someone’s car.
Next time one of your friends leave their Facebook open, randomly pick one of their friends and like all 973 of their photos.
It`s weird to think that these Forever Stamps will outlive me.
I found out last night that the only thing worse than waking up 3 times to pee is sleeping right through it.
I tell people that the secret ingredient in my cookies is “love,” but it’s actually “floor”
Good news: I finally got my computer connected to the wireless printer. Bad news: not sure which house I need to go to get my documents.
I carry a permanent marker just in case someone without a mustache falls asleep.
I don`t even know why chicks spend so much time and money on their hair when all guys look at is their tits.
So Stevie Wonder is going to become father to triplets next year. I guess he didn`t see that coming...
Farts are like children. I`m proud of mine and disgusted by yours.
Thank God I still have a few days left to achieve my goal of “going to the gym in 2014.”
This day needs more yesterday.
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.