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Got caught up in a really good book last night. I didn`t stop coloring till 2 o`clock this morning.
Relationship status: my cat won`t sit still for our selfies.
Iām eating for two ā me and that skinny girl inside my body. She likes cake, too.
The only way I want to see your ultrasound picture is if you`re having a velociraptor.
Flip flops are fun because every time you take a step it`s like a high-five for your feet.
Ever wanna tell someone to shut the f*ck up even when they are not speaking
My favorite drinking game is drinking.
I used to think using big words meant you were smart, I was somewhat right but that was before I heard politicians speak.
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn`t that make life fair?
*uses Ouija board* NEW PHONE WHO DIS
Donald Trump`s hair saw its shadow. We have six more weeks of protesting.
Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets???
If by cat person you mean I like to sleep all day and poo in sand then yes I am a cat person.
Who actually clicks on the "No I am not over 18" links on "adult" pages?
When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk for miles to call me a bastard.