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So after an hour of playing Paper, Rock, Scissors, we decided to call it a tie. Good game, mirror!
Texting while driving is incredibly stupid and dangerous ... You`re practically begging for typos.
If your man is reluctant to talk about his feelings, it’s probably because you haven’t told him what they are yet.
Just checked my Farmville for the first time in 2 years... It`s now a Walmart.
99% of people in this world are stupid. Luckily I`m part of the other 5%.
This haunted house sucks. It`s just people sitting in cubicles under fluorescent lights looking sad. Wait, I`m at work, sorry.
My favorite sexual position is pretty much any of them. I`m just glad to be involved.
Spent $50 on E-bay to enlarge my happy place. The creep sent me a magnifying glass.
Your cat doesn`t love you. If it were bigger it would eat you.
MIDDLE EAST: How can we stop ISIS? EUROPE: How can we save our economy? AMERICA: What color is this dress?!
I`d fight a bear for you. Well, not a grizzly or a brown bear. But maybe like a care bear. I`d fight one of those sonsabitches for you.
Happy Halloween… may all of your skeletons stay in the closet where they belong!
Tattoos are an expensive and painful way to guarantee that the police can make a positive identification.
Neighbors at it again. I do NOT want to know the words to "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus!
Tequila is Spanish for I’m open to waking up anywhere.