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Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
How is it possible that we have one hand that can do everything while the other hand is all, “I can’t even hold a pencil”?
All I`m saying is one of us is right and the other one is you.
Texting typos can change your life. "Having a great time wish you were her"
My business card is just a label I peeled off a beer bottle.
I`m considering buying a racehorse and naming it, "My Face". Just so I can hear everyone in the stands scream "Come on, My face!!"...
Ex Girlfriend: Omg! I had a dream about you last night!! Ex Boyfriend: Aww thats so sweet, what happend? Ex Girlfriend: U died :)
I’m sorry I offended you with my common sense.
If God didn`t want us to eat Animals he wouldn`t made them out of meat.
Hell hath no fury like a hungry me.
I`d get lost less frequently if GPS would say "no, your other left."
I don’t understand why drunk me always seems to have more money than sober me.
When reality kicks in… add more booze.
When the coffee stops working it is probably the right time to start drinking.
Her: Do you want to run away with me? ME: We won`t actually be running, right?