Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Happiness comes from within. That’s why it feels good to fart.
Best thing about being single… -no drama -no fighting -no crying -no feelings -no confusion -no worries -no PROBLEMS!
Yeah, I was dropped as a baby. Into a pool of sheer awesome.
I think all priuses are gay transformers living here on earth
I bet you 20 dollas I`m broke
Next time you’re asked “What’s Up” respond “A delightful animated film about a young boy and an old man who fly away to an exotic place in a balloon house.”
I am at the gym! Well, the parking lot. They have free wi-fi.
Trying to understand women is like trying to smell the color 8.
Congratulations India on successfully orbiting a probe around Mars. I assume you`ll be opening call centers on the red planet and using fake Martian names now?
The only trouble with resisting temptation is that you may not get another chance...
Accidentally missed the freeway exit for home, now I`m heading north to start a new life.
Being fat = Lowers your chance of getting kidnapped.
According to WebMD I have déjà vu... but not only that, I also have déjà vu according to WebMD.
Shot my first turkey today...scared the crap out of everyone in the frozen food section. It was awesome!
I’m going to be very busy in the afterlife. the list of people I’m going to haunt grows everyday.