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I may look like I`m doing nothing, but in my head I`m quite busy.
I like holding the door for people who are far away, you know so they have to run a little.
I`d try Taco Bell`s breakfast but I don`t start drinking that early.
I think that there are two things that we can all agree on: Boobs.
Tis the season to throw your diet out the window.
Saying “sounds good” is probably the nicest way to abruptly end a conversation.
"Wow, that Hungry Man TV dinner sure lives up to its name!" said no hungry man ever.
The first snow of spring is always the most beautiful
You know you`re broke when your bank flags deposits as suspicious activity.
Worrying: a waste of imagination.
I go into Best Buy and ask "Where are your most expensive yet least guarded items?" Then someone is always nearby when I have questions.
Who needs Halloween decorations when I can just put up my selfies?
I hate it when spiders just sit there acting like they pay rent.
"Hi, I`m here to ruin your life" - Social media
"I can`t wait for New Years to be over!" -my liver