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I wash once and dry 3-4 times, depending on how much I want to delay folding my clothes.
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
Sö î hèãrd ÿôu lìkê gùÿš with ácçeñts?
If you don’t like being tailgated then don’t play movies I like.
The only real difference between my 20s and my 30s is that now I make all my bad decisions before midnight.
"Mary had a little lamb. That`s had." - the wolf
In an alternate universe somewhere, all the ducks are making white girl faces.
All of my selfies are just still shots from surveillance footage.
To skip any youtube ad just change ‘youtube’ to ‘youtubeskip’ in the url of any video. You’re welcome.
If someone says they`ll always be there for you...make sure you find out exactly where "there" is.
Why go to a public pool when strangers on Craigslist will pee on you for free
Just so you know, when you repeat what you just said I won`t be listening then either.
I live in fear that my death will somehow be connected to the opening of a pressurized Pillsbury cinnamon roll container.
Kim and Kanye have been married WAY longer then I expected.
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don’t make the rules.