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Make somebody happy today... mind your own business!!!
When a guy texts a girl “hey stranger”, what he really means is “I’ve recently thought about trying to get in your pants again.”
"You only live once. LOL JK!" ~ the cat
I`m thankful for many things, but mostly that there were no camera phones when I was in high school.
Being fat is when you watch Jurassic Park and wonder if dinosaur tastes good.
The 21st century. When deleting history is more important than making it.
Is that a selfie or did you just photobomb a picture of your filthy bathroom?
If you are noticing this notice, you will have noticed this notice is not worth noticing
I decided I`m going to be poor... Its Cheaper :)
I love you in a bipolar way because I hate you.
You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
I`d be so much more successful if some of my ancestors had just married better.
Love makes the world go round, but alcohol makes it go round twice as fast!
A 15 year old took gold in the Olympics and then there is me whose greatest accomplishment is getting up to 10 on flappy bird.
When my pc crashes, I go to the guy with the most action figures in his cubicle for help.