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I got all my Christmas shopping done. Hope everyone likes bunny ears, ornamental grass, and discounted peeps.
Hey, if anyone needs help raising their kids, come talk to me. I`ve been one for 30 some years now.
The average person farts 14 times a day. Finally, I`m above average at something!!
I want to cover you in expensive things…like gasoline.
Im at a beer tasting today..so far they all taste the same out of this case...well done Budweiser...well done!!
Remember…it’s only embarrassing if you care what people think.
MAY` contain nudity? Either it does or it doesn`t. DON`T WASTE MY TIME
I`m awkward when people compliment me. "Nice hair" "Thanks, I grew it myself"
If you didn’t want me stopping by for cake, you shouldn`t have advertised your birthday with balloons & banner on your mailbox.
Like a glow stick, sometimes we have to break before we shine.
12 year olds having sex ? Im sorry when i was 12 i was to afraid to pull my foreskin back incase my d*ck fell out.
I’m not implying you’re stupid. I’m saying it outright. Here, I wrote it in crayon to help you understand.
Talking bout planets with my 8 yr old. He asked if you can just plow thru Uranus because it`s all gas. I cannot respond maturely.
Just another day of not being rich and famous.
roses are red violets are blue da shit in my back yard looks jus like you