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Laugh now, but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world
I`m already getting into the Thanksgiving spirit, I`ve given the bird to lots of people today.
A married man has 2 options in an argument...he can be right or he can be happy
It`s hard to take life serious once you realize people jamming their genitals in each others mouths is considered a sign of affection.
Don’t judge someone because they sin differently than you.
I heard she was born naked!! That slut!
Ladies, when it comes to doggy style.....I`m behind you 100%
"They are more afraid of you than you are of them." -people who know even less about me than they do about bears
If money can’t buy happiness explain pizza.
If you want to keep a secret from me, write it down and send it to me as a Facebook event invitation.
I run a non-profit company. It`s not for a good cause or anything, I`m just not very good at business.
On a scale from 0 to insane I`m batman
Missed connection: you were washing your car in a bathing suit. I rode past your house 78 times. You threw a rock at me.
If I was antisocial I wouldn`t have just ordered a pizza over the phone.
The police want to interview me. Strange, I didn`t even apply for a job.