Daily Silly Status

Pinatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you’ll get what you want.

Good job with the heavy sighs, guy behind me, that should definitely help speed up the line.

I`m sick to death of these letters from the City of College Station bullying me to mow my grass! If Walmat can prepare for Christmas 3 mths in advance why can`t I do the same for Easter!!!??

You know you`re addicted to your iphone when you start using your fingers to zoom into things on your laptop computer. Or a printed photo. Or a book. Or your watch.

If a girl bangs ten dudes in a year she is a slut. If a guy done he`s gay. Definitely gay.

Nobody on television curses more than the Roadrunner.

I`m a multi-taking procrastinator. I can put off all kinds of things all at once.

You`re single? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. Yea me too.

All those years of getting horrible elementary school pictures was just society`s way of preparing you for your driver`s license photo.

So Stevie Wonder is going to become father to triplets next year. I guess he didn`t see that coming...

It’s like I was put on this earth so unstable people have somebody to date.

I got food poisoning today. I don`t know when I`ll use it though.

Let’s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.

The best way to hang up on someone is to do it in the middle of your own sentence, that way they will just think you lost service.

You`re annoying, but honestly, I`ve been annoyed by better.