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Bathroom hand dryers are amazing if you want to kill a few minutes before wiping your hands on your pants.
Every parent’s superpower is the ability to communicate “I love you!” and “I will kill you!” with a single look.
With Halo 4, Black Ops II and Assasins Creed III, I think November might register the lowest teen pregnancy rates in a long time!
llllllloooollllll...........................i saw a donkey on a bike
I thought I was feeling a little bloated today, turns out I had my underwear on backwards.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy but sometimes I let her sleep instead..
Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.
Sometimes it’s just better to buy new Tupperware than to risk opening the leftovers.
Sometimes people come into your life and they need to stop doing that
Studies show that people who want tribal tattoos are directly related to living under a rock
They should just block cell phone service in movie theaters. Problem solved.
We’ll be friends until we’re old and senile. Then we’ll be new friends all over again.
Money isn`t the key to happiness ... Wait a minute, I`ll just pay to have a key made.
How Big is Infinity?
How`d this get posted?