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Just tried to pay for my McDonalds with a hug, it didn`t work. Don`t believe the rumors.
I just made 3 critical errors: 1. I woke up for work. 2. I went to work. 3. I arrived at work.
It is days like today that I am glad that we all don`t live in a Yellow Submarine. Well at least not in the same one.
This is my Facebook status. There are many like it but this one is mine.
Before I lose my phone, end up naked, high, drunk and/or possibly arrested, I would like to wish you all a Happy Friday.
I screamed a Brazilian times during that waxing.
It has been scientifically proven that any woman can be satisfied with only 3 1/2 inches — and it doesn’t matter if it is Visa or MasterCard
Texts from mom: Thanks to the supreme court, now it`s not just women who won`t marry you.
Get real. No one’s going to form a single line if the building’s on FIRE.
I am at the gym! Well, the parking lot. They have free wi-fi.
My mission is to be the first person on Facbook to have one million people on their block list. . .
Hey, how long are you supposed to chase someone after they steal your wallet? Cause I`m getting tired of running and he`s catching up to me.
Lately I`ve been convinced that some people were born solely for purpose of eventually pissing me off...
Being able to read minds would be incredible...but constantly hearing about how sexy and great I am would probably get old.
In the word "scent" is it the s that is silent or the c?