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Radio Shack has stayed in business with a name combining something no one buys anymore and a type of building no one wants to go into.
By the power vested in me and by this case of beer, I now pronounce these three loads of laundry as one.
some people just need to be kicked... in the stomach... with steel toed boots
If you get pulled over in a Smart Car for speeding, you should get a standing ovation, not a ticket.
Pretty nice opinion you got there. It`d be a shame if someone were to...not give a sh*t about it
The best way to make a bad day better is by adding alcohol.
If there is not an open bar and a delicious cake at your wedding, I will take my gift card to Walmart back.
homework wont kill me, but why take the risk!
It’s too bad that it’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
Ahh..Monday, so we meet again ... You dirty bitch!!
Facebook should have a limit on times you can update your relationship status, after 3 it should default to "unstable".
I was discussing with my friend about the popular trends on sex, marriage and values. He says to me, "I didn’t sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" I replied. "I’m not sure, what was her maiden name?"
Ghetto Word of the Day: Window "Imma pay my baby mamma her child support. I just don’t know window".
I remember when peer pressure was all about drugs and promiscuous sex. Now it`s Fitbit and who has the best gluten free recipes.
If cats could text you back, they wouldn`t.