Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Me: "Why do all the people I love leave me?!" UPS Guy: "Please Mam, just sign"
“Are you working right now? Where are you working?” Facebook is worse than my parents.
If at first you don`t succeed ... I just lie and say I did.
I got up at 7:00 this morning .. lather rinse repeat ... How long do you have to do this for?
when i have children im going to make them watch 2012 and tell them i survived all of that.
Without facebook: more sleep, less drama, and a life!
Why am I not allowed to post anything on here?
Watch out! It’s quite possible some of my best mistakes haven’t been made yet.
I live for those really small but special moments in life, like when I see the waiter bringing my food to the table.
No one has ever been in an empty room.
If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.
A magic eraser, but for my bar tab.
Pretending to be a functioning adult is exhausting.
One fun way to describe Facebook is “imagine you are a mind reader in Walmart.”
Went by the bank today and the female teller was flirting with me which was weird considering she saw my account balance.