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Super Bowl Sunday, the one day of the year that DVR`s are used to watch commercials, instead of skip them!
Thinking of getting another kitchen table just for all my mail
I`ll do a lot of things for money, but I draw the line at working...
Im thinking about writing a book about my life, I just have to wait for the statue of limitations to expire.
So far I`m 0 for 276 for walking around the block in hopes of finding a bag of money on the side of the road.
The divorce rate is almost at 60%. How does Cupid keep his job with that level of failure?
There are over 10 different flavors of Ramen Noodles, yet they all taste like poverty and loneliness.
I always push when I should pull. I have doorlexia.
I`m so old I remember when water was free and you had to pay for porn.
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I am going to bed. Good Night :D
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator. Hahaha Iām so sorry. No Iām not.
My therapist told me I`m nuts. I said "I wanted a second opinion." She said "Well ok, you`re ugly too."
i didn`t know i had a facebook account until now
All these years and I still don`t understand why they didn`t put Kevin Bacon in Grease.
Dear whoever ate my fries while i was in the ball pit at McDonald`s... grow up!!