Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I used to be able to stay out much later than this. I find I just can’t these days. My phone battery just doesn’t have the stamina any more.
I think on December 21 all the power companies should shut off the power for like 10 minutes just to make people flip out.
I don`t care how the future pans out, any amazon delivery from now on is referred to as a drone strike.
Just saw a cop pull over a U-Haul truck. I think he is trying to bust a move.
Your car took up two spaces, I tried to move it over with my key.
Mom: How are your grades this semester? Me:.... Mom:.... Me: Mother what`s important is that we have our health
The ultimate act of trust is buying your spouse a gun, and then showing them the correct way to use it.
i dont drink any more and yet again i dont any less either
Hey Journey, I stopped believing. What now?
This week’s weather forecast: Sweaty underboobs.
I’m working on my resume. Should I use the term “mad skillz” or would “mad skills” be more formal?
When cleaning my house: 1% Cleaning 30% Complaining 69% Playing with stuffs that I just found
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service.
Just once I`d like to see a stripper do the "Carlton" on stage.
Wouldn`t ventriloquists be a lot cooler if they could throw their farts?