Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
At first, I had my doubts about using autocorrect. But my new phone probed me wrong. PROVED DAMNIT! PROVED!
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science.
I swear, if my memory gets any worse I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.
I may not be the richest guy...or the smartest guy...or the funniest guy...or the best-looking guy...or the .....:( Forget it, now I`m depressed.
What flickering lights mean: 1% electrical problems. 99% demons.
The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they take things so literally.
Don`t trust anyone that orders a Medium Pizza....
Not now, I`m busy bringing shame to my family on the internet.
Doing some laundry and hot single socks in my dryer are looking for a mate.
So I turned my phone onto " airplane mode" and threw it up into the air. Worst transformer ever!
My 17yo pretends he doesn`t understand how the washer works when I ask him to do the laundry Congrats, you`re finally a man
Pokémon means a totally different thing if you`re stuck in prison.
Hey, sorry I`m late ... I didn`t want to come
Is there any way to really know how many camouflage shirts are in your house?
The only good thing about being an alcoholic is that no one ever asks me to drive them anywhere.