Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Didn’t Selfie Sticks used to be called Friends?
That awkward moment when im in the Airport, I walk through the metal detector, and my abs of steel set it off
Love is like Wi-Fi, you can`t see it, but you know when you`ve lost it.
This liquor store needs a dollar menu.
Forrest Gump forever changed the way I pronounce buttocks.
It`s almost Valentines Day and I still don`t know what to get myself yet.
John has 35 candy bars. If John eats 27 of them what does he have? .... Diabetes. John has diabetes.
My friends had a surprise party for me last night, well I called it a surprise party they called it an intervention.
When I go to the gas station I always get two kinds of drinks so it appears I actually have a friend..I think they`re catching on though.
Finally in bed. No better time to start thinking about every possible thing that has or ever could happen.
24 hours in a day.. 24 beers in a case.. coincidence?
If you want to have fun with your kids, tell them the teacher called, then ask if there is something they need to tell you.
Am I the only one who closes the silverware drawer with an epic pelvic thrust?
I don’t know who or what is doing it, but one day I will find the thing that continues to steal one sock and destroy it.
Square box. Round pizza. Triangle slices. I`m Confused.