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We still don`t know sh*t about that airplane. - NEWS
Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife`s is around $643.27. Apparently
The best thing about falling down when you`re home alone is that you can just lie on the floor and take a nap.
What age is the best to break it to my kids, that they`re NOT adopted?
Any person can be nice to my face, but it takes a real friend to be nice behind my back.
Today, my wife asked "would you still love me if I was ugly and fat." "Yes, honey I do." was not the right answer.
Don’t get me wrong. I totally hear what you’re saying…I just don’t care.
If my calculations are right, by November of 2019 my uneven usage of conditioner will finally lap the shampoo and I will run out of both at the exact same time.
Today I am thankful for my family....and this 5th of vodka that helps me deal with them.
Every time I`m around my mother in law, I wonder who is running hell in her absence.
I’m home alone. Time to start my concert.
I just changed my relationship status from “left hand” to “right hand”…
I wish there was a reality show where people learned grammar.
Why don`t they make Neapolitan ice cream but with 3 better flavors?
Never go on a blind date with a friend! She was so big when i took her home she went to my backyard and started grazing.