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I`m not really your friend until I start insulting you on a daily basis.
My dad said if I don`t get of facebook in 3 seconds he would jab my face into the keyboahajsirksjapquebxm
For every bad idea you have, I’m always there to tell you…I’m in.
The only reason I liked your post was because I was trying to clean a smudge off my screen.
Money can`t buy you happiness, but it does give you the ability to rent it until you die.
You can’t believe everything you hear, but you can repeat it.
RAIN!!!! :) I guess my rain dances must have worked. Some people call it stumbling around... I call it rain dancing.
When your girlfriend says do what ever you want. Do not do what ever you want!
So another day has come and gone and I still haven`t used algebra
I`m going to propose with a mood ring so I can easily see a measurement of how excited she really is.
I wish I could commute by roller coaster.
I am not real pumped up about the Super Bowl this year!
Pizza will never tell you you`re fat unless you`re high as sh!t, then pizza is probably suggesting you fight an aardvark to lose weight.
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets.
If a cop ever asks me to count from 100 backwards ...I just get in the back seat