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Falling in love is lot like dying, you never get to do it enough to become good at it.
I think on December 21 all the power companies should shut off the power for like 10 minutes just to make people flip out.
If it rains on a dream catcher, does that make it a wet dream catcher?
I`ll be back before you can pronounce actillimandataquerin altosapaoyabayadoondib ab!
There`s never been a single day in my life when I thought to myself " thank god the cops are here"
Someone’s therapist knows all about you.
New Years - the only day where its socially acceptable to drink this early.
Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid.
Q: What do you call apple-flavoured marijuana? A: iPot
I just found out the neighborhood is having a meeting about the creepy guy. ..Its weird that they forgot to invite me ..
Excuse me but which level of Hell is this?
Ghetto word of the day: "Bishop", My girlfriend fell down, So I picked that bishop.
I like to say "Do I smell popcorn?" right after I fart ..that way everyone quickly takes a deep breathe.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
I`m great at balloon animals. You should see my eel, snake, and worm.