Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m starting to think that life isn`t worth living anymore and... Oh wait, there`s the bartender now. Nevermind.
When my boss is in town, I set out pictures of kids on my desk. They aren`t my kids but he`d never fire a Mom of seven, right?
Taco Bell drive-thru should have a “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
They should put Prince on the $20 bill and call it $19.99... It`s "The bill formerly known as a twenty."
A lot of people do not realize that the actor who played Wilson in Castaway is the same actor from the volleyball scene in Top Gun.
A man walks into a bar & orders a beer. He drinks it, looks in his pocket & orders another. This happens 7 more times. Bartender asks, "What`s in your pocket?" Man says, "I have a photo of my wife in there. When she looks good enough, I`ll go home."
If your camel toe looks like a elephants hoof, you might want to rethink the yoga pants.
When I`m on my death bed, I want my last words to be...."I left 10 million dollars in the..........."
Scientists are dumb. A meteor didn`t kill the dinosaurs. I`ve been to the museum. It`s obvious they starved to death.
Sticks and stones, break my bones, but hollow points expand on impact!
I didn`t sleep well last night so this morning I made my coffee with Red Bull instead of water. Half way to work I realized I forgot my car.
I don`t need WebMD to tell me what`s wrong with me, I have my mother.
Guys just want a virgin porn star and girls just want a dangerous safe guy.
why we do not have a romance class...............
When I`m bored, I send a text to a random number saying, " I hid the body, now what?"