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Dear children, when you look under your bed, what exactly are you planning to do when you find me? Sincerely, The Monster.
I BRIEFLY had an urge to clean ... but that lasted only 5 minutes .. whew! That was close! Lol
To the guys complaining about lack of sex from their woman: supply & demand. Supply better product, they`ll demand it more. -Bfanch
I kind of like it getting dark so early because it gives me a great excuse to just stay inside and watch TV.
Am I the only one who runs up on happy couples and yells, "How could you do this to me" and then runs off crying?
After months of uninterrupted analysis, I am now prepared to conclude that, indeed, my laundry is not going to fold itself.
No matter how little I do in a day. I always feel like I could have done less.
Amazing how many people just stroll into tattoo parlors and say “Give me the dumbest thing you can think of.”
Jogging backwards because I`m trying to gain a little weight
I`m not fat. My stomach is in 3D
I would lose weight, but I hate losing..
Ever drink so much your wife makes sense? Me neither...But I keep trying
Google maps should have a “Scenic!” route option for when we’re not in a hurry and just want to enjoy the ride.
I could spend my day outside, but I`m sure there`s plenty of porn that needs to be rated.
There are plenty of fish in the sea ...That`s cool and all....but I`m a human.