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Please ignore this post, I`m pretending to be adding a coworker`s phone number.
I can`t understand why women are okay that JCPenney has an older women`s clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
With the right person, you can talk about absolutely nothing for hours & feel like you spoke about everything.
Based on the condition of my hair in the morning, I`d say there`s a 100% chance my hair has more fun than I do when I sleep.
Don’t look unless you’re prepared to see.
If someone doesn’t stand up to let you pass them in movie theater seats, it’s totally cool and legal to fart in their face as you walk by.
You never know what you have until..... you clean your room
Wanna try something funny? Go to a bank and yell "NOBODY MOVE..(Scary pause)..I lost a contact lens."
Studies show that if you begin a sentence with "studies show," the internet will believe you.
My blind neighbor sure does take his dog on a lot of walks...
I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
What’s the difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?
I wish the minutes after hitting the snooze button lasted as long as microwave minutes.
I can think of other ways to eat fresh, but I`ll settle for this subway sandwich.
No need to blind fold me, just hand me my phone and drive, I won`t have a clue how to get back here