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I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
Oh my gosh! It`s a Hot Wheels car! Something you never want to hear during a prostate exam.
If you allow your pets to roam free in our neighborhood, I`m gonna put party hats on em. This is non-negotiable.
Spinning in circles to get dizzy as a child was my first attempt at getting high.
I think ugly people have children just to prove to everyone they had sex.
If you listen real closely to my kids arguing tonight, you`ll hear the sound of me pouring a glass of wine.
They say `No news is good news,` but I think it just means I have a lazy paperboy.
I can`t tell if I actually have free time, or if I`m just forgetting everything...
"Mounting debt" sounds way sexier than it is.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious
When your feeling down, I will be there to feel you up. ;)
Ok Brazil, this would be a time when it`s ok to bite an opponent.
I deserve an Oscar for my performance in "Holy crap this is a terrible gift but I`ll pretend to love it."
Of course I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.