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I love the show Gotham....OBSESSED!!! But they constantly have the Twitter hashtag #gotham in the corner of the screen, and I`m always thinking..."No I don`t have ham! But I want ham." Sometimes I miss parts of the showing thinking about the fact that I don`t have ham..... Obviously I need to have ham on the menu every Monday night. #noidontgotham
I FINALLY "friended" my girlfriend on Facebook.. You know.. So I could get updates on our relationship status.. :|
You know something bad is about to happen when someone says "Hold my beer and watch this."
Dear axe body spray, Could you Please put a suggested spray size on your deodorant bottles. Best regards, Asphyxiated girls everywhere.
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding… that the other person is a complete idiot!
I’m drinking like there’s snow tomorrow.
I`m not the type of person you want to put on speakerphone.
How to get laid: 1)Lay on bed... Wait 1 hour until lay becomes past tense
Why isn’t our beer color coordinated for all holiday occasions, instead of just St. Patricks Day?
That disappointing moment when you pull up to work and it`s not fully engulfed in fire.
I`m optimistic that within my lifetime it will become acceptable to wear your underwear to the supermarket.
If you can`t read the bottom of the eye chart, spell something dirty. Eye doctors love that sh!t.
The best part of winter coming is that all the bugs are rotting in hell where they belong.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
OK so i have an idea ............... wait why are you all running away?