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Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
Please don`t hastag out loud...
I`ve been having really bad headaches lately. The doctor said they were all in my head.
Drinking coffee in the afternoon is like eating the mushroom that makes you big in Super Mario.
"Everybody freeze!" -December
How do they even grow boneless chicken`s?
I like to make up words just to keep my auto correct in check.
I keep my landline active because I know sooner or later Trinity or Morpheus will contact me.
Don`t trust anyone that orders a Medium Pizza....
The only trouble with resisting temptation is that you may not get another chance...
Come to think of it, I’ve never seen a taxi fill up at a gas station
Forecast for tonight: Alcohol, low standards, and poor decisions.
I love Ebay. Sold my homing pigeon 8 times last month.
I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice.
It’s not the holiday season unless you push your body to the brink of alcoholism and diabetes.