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Oh Mickey, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey. Hey Hey Mickey!..face it you didn’t read that, you sang it.
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you`re signing a cast.
Boys will be boys... unless they get a sex change.
This girl says she wants me to butter her muffin ... I don’t even know what that means, but now I’m hungry.
Is it wrong to use cheat codes for Wii Fit.
Swearing releases stress and that`s just one of the f*cking reasons I do it.
Why did the mushroom go to the party because he was the fungi
NASCAR pit crews are always retiring. Let it sink in: now laugh
Don`t you hate it when you`re typing something and you`re thinking about something else so then you subconsciously type what you were boobies.
I’m off for a quiet beer. Followed by fourteen noisy ones.
I just made an emergency survival kit. You know, for emergencies. It looks like all my other kits, but don`t be fooled; this one is red and has more liquor.
Let’s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.
Learned a lesson from my dog tonight ... No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that sh1t and move on.
Growing up teachers always told me there was no such thing as a stupid question. Eight years in retail has determined that was a lie.
Monday morning coffee is just as important as friday night liquor....almost.