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Somehow I thought growing up would involve more than staring at my phone
I have found that the best work from home occupation is a bartender
With all the technology these days, you`d think they would come up with an Online Gym where losing weight would be a click away
doesn`t mind that people start spreading rumors about me.. it’s when they spread the truth that I’m screwed ;)
me + you = overpopulation... :) :p
I decided I really need to read more. I watch way to much TV ... So I turned on the subtitles.
My mother in law called me today and said? ”Come quick. I think I’m dying” I said, ”Call me back when you’re sure”.
My mom likes playing this game called `yell from four rooms away and get upset when I can`t hear her`.
I have decided to stop exercising and just learn Photoshop.
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking!
People who go rock climbing: you know you don`t have to, right
Job interview tip: repeatedly ask if you`re under oath
Nice try salad bars, there`s only one kinda bar I plan on attending.
Parenting is a lot like the bar scene: Everyone`s yelling, everything`s sticky, it`s the same music over and over again and occasionally someone pukes somewhere they
Shouting "Not it!" should still make us exempt from doing anything that we don`t feel like doing.