Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just saw a hot mom at McDonalds spank her kid after he threw his fries on the ground, so I threw my fries on the ground too.
Pretending to tolerate other people is exhausting.
I woke up this morning and my "check liver" light was on.
The beauty of vodka is that it looks like water. The beauty of the workplace is that water bottles are allowed.
When pornstars get up to speak in front of a large group, do they picture people with their clothes on?
A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind
I might be a day late and a dollar short, but it is still my personal best.
sometimes when i`m lonely i`ll fill my bathtub with tomato sauce and pretend that i`m a meatball
I always tell myself there is no such thing as a stupid question, but everyday someone tries to change my mind
Quick Hide! Monday is Coming!!
Monday :`( Tuesday :-( Wednesday :- Thursday :-/ Friday :-| Saturday :-) Sunday B-)
The only honest people in the world are small children and me after a couple cocktails.
Your girlfriend is rated E... For Everyone
Facebook is like a fridge full of old food you know what is in your fridge but still you go and check if it changed.
I’m trisexual, as in, I’ll try to have sex with you.