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Taco Bell is donating burritos to feed firefighters in Colorado. Talk about putting gas on the fire,
Before having any kids make sure you’re done sleeping and doing things you like to do.
Last year in college football Alabama beat Arkansas, Tennessee, and Auburn. Those teams coaches all resigned. Any chance of Alabama playing agsinst the White House this year?
Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a pony; he stuck a feather in his hat, and called it macaroni… That folks, is what drugs do to you.
This dishwasher sucks. It`s already ruined three of my paper plates.
People often say laughter is the best medicine, but they neglect to mention that an overdose can cause one’s a$$ to fall off.
Don’t look unless you’re prepared to see.
I went to my local shop for a paper the other day. A guy out of no where started to throw eggs, cream and milk at me. I thought to myself how dairy?
To the untrained eye, I`m quite handsome.
It’s 2015, why cant you unselect a floor in an elevator yet?
Rick Ross be rapping about cars he can`t even fit in.
If steroids are illegal for athletes shouldn`t photoshop be illegal for models?
Why eat a carrot when you can just as easily not eat a carrot?
NyQuil is great. I love the way it comes with it´s own shot glass
They should`ve added "Might lose a lot of sleep" in Facebook`s terms & conditions before signing up.