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Apparently, you can only say "look at you! You got so big!" to children,,, old girlfriends tend to get offended.
They told me to come here and write something funny, so I`m gonna post my bank account balance: -$4.09
The first rule of selfie club should be to clean your room.
Sadly, I don`t think anyone has Wang Chunged once tonight... :(
Perverts can contribute to society. Look at the disturbed individual who discovered cow`s milk.
Is it really necessary for the first square of toilet paper to be glued down?
How to fall down stairs: Step 1 Step 6 Step 7,8,9,11
Big shout-out to slugs! Those little guys are out there everyday, doing all the same stuff as snails but without helmets.
You don`t know broke until you`ve rinsed off a paper plate.
I was pretty disappointed when my boss said we can`t do throw-back Thursday, or bring tequila shots to work
I took a nude photo of myself ... With the light off ... You`re welcome.
I will never forget the day when she said yes to me because that was the last time we agreed on anything.
NASA has confirmed that December 21, late afternoon, the sky will be very dark. It is an interesting phenomenon called "night".
I feel like I would enjoy getting out of bed more if I only had to do it like 3 times a week. This every day thing is overkill.
Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?