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Keep the dream alive......... Hit the snooze button.
I`m confused, oh wait, maybe I`m not.
I don`t know what I would do without you, but I bet it`s awesome.
In relationships, it’s important to pay attention to the person’s likes and dislikes. My parole officer, for example, hates to be tickled.
When people sit in front of me at the movies. I make a loud fart sound so they quickly move to get away from me.
It’s funny that old people need handicap parking spots but they always manage to pick up a penny off the ground.
Facebook has suggested that I POKE you.
If you had to choose between your girlfriend or GTA 5 which character would you play as first?
When I was little my dad had me convinced that the Ice Cream truck only played music when it was sold out. Well played Dad, well played.
Flight 370, proven harder to find then the G spot :-/
The only thing us men clean at home is our browser history
Ate too much salad yesterday so I`m going on an Oreos cleanse today.
My stove top knob reads, LO | 2 | 4 | 6 | 8 | 10 | HI......so what is Med-High, Medium Low?...They just need to lay it out for me in numbers! Like "set stove top to 8." no wait, 9.? Food manufacturerers and stove manufactuerers need to get toghether on this! So let me see,..... (me thinking)....if ten is high...5 is medium that means 7.5..... WAIT!.....low would be 0 so HI would be 12???....WTF!!! forget about simmer!........HEY KIDS! WHO WANTS PIZZA!
Im really not just some idiot with nothing better to do with my time, I just play one in FB.
I can see your camouflage pants, so they`re not working.