Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Word on the street is... Lol. Jk. I don`t go outside.
I have a confession to make. I was born with a rare disease called “Amazing.”
"You only live once. LOL JK!" ~ the cat
+ if you wish you could record your dreams.
I don`t have the blood alcohol level to deal with you
Nothing says “I hate you” like giving someone’s child a drum set.
If you say "I slept like a baby" in front of me, I`ll ALWAYS assume you woke up every 2 hours, pissed yourself and cried for your mommy.
Just because I`m awake doesn`t mean I`m ready to do things
Dear Haters, I have so much more for you to be mad at me for...please be patient.
I can already tell it`s going to be another one of those mornings where I`m not rich and famous.
Sometimes I wish I could officially change "Hump Day" into "Smack-A-Dumb-Bitch-In-The-Face" Day.
I sometimes check my blocklist to see how my prisoners are doing
To-Do List : Nothing[?]
Karma means I can rest easy at night knowing all the people I treated badly had it coming.
A penny for your thoughts, Five bucks if they’re naughty.