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In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on.
We live in a society that’s the most knowledgeable about a zombie apocalypse, but the most likely to be eaten while staring at our phones.
If she asks what the weight limit is on your ceiling fan.... She`s a keeper!
"Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas."
I may not be a veterinarian, but I know a horses a$$ when I meet one.
If you like counting to three, you are going to love parenting.
Mary had a little lamb,,the midwife fainted
As i get older i realize I do a LOT more YOGA...attempting to tie my shoelaces
I need a "previously on your life" recap for the things I didn`t pay attention to.
After 6 years, is it still all Bush`s fault or has it been reduced to "Unfortunate circumstances under no one`s control"?..............
The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.
The new Jungle Book movie might be confusing to today`s kids who don`t remember when we had jungles. Or books...
Jealous women do better research then the FBI. True story.
I was born to be happy… not normal.
The point of no return sounds like a fun vacation spot.