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I`m hosting a wine tasting event in my home. Well, it`s not really an event. It`s just me and three bottles of wine. No one else is invited.
I wonder if people without dogs actually pick food off the floor?
So.. who else is sleeping naked tonight?
My workout plan really only consists of me wandering around in parking lots because I forgot where I parked...
The person that named the eggplant probably isn’t allowed to name things anymore.
I just responded to a text message with: I can`t hear you, you`re breaking up.
Fact: No woman has ever shot a man while he is doing the dishes!
Not to brag but my bank says I have an outstanding balance.
People think I`m crazy because I talk to my cat. What am I supposed to do? Just ignore him when he asks me a question?
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I am going to bed. Good Night :D
Ate too much salad yesterday so I`m going on an Oreos cleanse today.
You say illegal, I say added to my bucket list.
Sometimes I meet people and feel sorry for their dog.
I like to say my kid handles funds for a multi-billion dollar corporation. It`s easier than saying he is a cashier at McDonald`s
There is no better sunscreen than sitting in a bar.