Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Of course it`s you. If it was me I wouldn`t even bring it up.
I`m beginning to think the only reason I buy bananas is to watch them die a painful death on my counter.
Oh, I thought you were talking about napping. In that case no, I`m not good in bed.
Killing spiders is easy and fulfilling if you imagine them whispering "You look fat in those pants".
keep scrolling… it gets better lol
It takes balls to be a man.
I don’t always have time to study, but when I do, I don’t.
Interviewer: Have any weaknesses? Me: Bullets I: No, I mean… M: Knives I: I don’t think y… M: probably evil dragons I: … M: Focusing.
I`ll make better mistakes tomorrow.
When do you take 5 hr energy? Right when I get off work ..12am!..beer here I come!
My New Years Resolution for 2015 is to stop being so impatient.
"I went to Jared" I whispered as she slowly opened the velvety box of Subway coupons.
One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus so that I could slap 8 people at once.