Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Parallel lines have so much in common, it`s a shame they`ll never meet
Oh, I thought you were talking about napping. In that case no, I`m not good in bed.
I dance like people wish they weren`t watching.
"I don`t care if you think it sounds gross, that`s what we`re calling it" -Guy who named the sweater.
Studies show that 99% of Dans are not "the man."
I`ve never said "in all seriousness" and actually meant it.
"Sleeping on the couch" should be a relationship status on Facebook.
Cut out the middleman and just list 911 as your emergency contact.
"Well that can`t be right." - dogs watching us catching balls with our hands
They should just go ahead and put a volume setting on my TV that says "Eating Doritos".
i wasnt that drunk * "bro, you destroyed my mothers garden while screaming F*CK FARMVILLE!"*
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they´re going to be when you kill them.
I wish there was a way to find out how many boners you’ve caused in a lifetime, I wanna check my stats.
You know how we smack your household appliances when they`re malfunctioning and it makes them work? I wish you could do that with people.
I`m pretty sober, but I`m prettier drunk.