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I cant remember the last time i forgot something
What idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles?
Now what`s funny is "Si" from Duck Dynasty
The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it`s like excuse me, I`m working here.
I beat my chess opponent in less than five moves with the chair I was sitting on!
why call it ordering pizza and not the pursuit of happiness
One day you will die, but every other day you won’t. So that’s pretty great, right? ... Inspirational posts are hard.
I got in the shower with my slippers still on this morning. Is this the start of dementia or the continuum of stupidity I wonder?
Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers. Most strippers have little or no coverage.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice ... it`s cuz you have really nice tits.
I always like seeing those "Baby on Board" stickers because it`s nice to see agreeable babies out there.
I wish I could afford to have a drinking problem.
I`ll see your fun outdoor activity and raise you a nap.
I lost 3 pounds over the weekend, but not to worry I found them lastnight at pizza hut
You know that look women get when they want sex ? ..........me neither.