Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Life lesson: you never have to feel ashamed of anything you buy as long as you buy a birthday card at the same time
I learn something new every day that I didn`t want to know.
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Pokey, but I’ve turned myself around.
Men are like lottery tickets. Very exciting at first, until you scratch away the surface to reveal the loser beneath.
I realized my superpower.. I can walk into ANY bathroom.. And the toilet paper roll will be empty..
This salad tastes like I`m about done with my New Year`s Resolution.
if your an astronaut, and you don`t end a relationship with "look, I just need space.." then your wasting everyones time
How crazy is it that we used to say "three and a half inch floppy" with a straight face
We all need that special person in our lives that makes it worth while to shave our pubes.
Sorry, but breaking up with you on facebook was the best way of letting all your friends know I`m available.
If you`re already in the cop car, I really can`t see how puking in it could make things any worse.
Do you think regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh crap! It’s the cops!”?
Ever notice your Christmas stocking has just enough room for chocolates and a bottle of wine. Coincidence? I don`t think soooo.
Apparently, the average person looks at their phone 150 times a day. Not me. I look at it just once. For about 12 hours.
They say 1 minute of kissing burns 26 calories. No wonder sluts are so damn skinny.