Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
(For women only) Wants to go on the Maury Povich show and hear, "You are NOT the mother!"
Everyone has fitness goals and Iām over here like, if I burn this many calories I can eat a whole pizza.
I just realized that if we drink enough wine, the adult`s table will become the kid`s table.
For all those girls that say `all guys are the same` ... Who told you to try them all? Hoe.
What`s the lowest IQ someone can have while still being a relatively full functioning adult? My wife wants to know.
good boys go to heaven bad boys go every where
Marriage tip: Don`t
Today is "National Take Your Flask To Work Day." ... I just made it up. Tell the others.
A boob job sounds like the best job in the world.
I just wanted to say thank you to all the people that have given me a reason to drink this Friday night.
If you attached a bunch of watches together to make a belt it would be a waist of time.
Always check the height of nearby ceiling fans before giving a toddler a ride on your shoulders... * How I learned this rule is not important.
Judging by the size of these chicken fingers, that chicken had to be somewhere between 7` to 10` tall.
My insomnia is getting worse. I was wide awake all day at work yesterday.
DiGiorno should start delivering, just to screw with people.