Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I swear that logging in to Facebook has become the equivalent of opening the fridge door and staring inside even though you`re not hungry.
Is the CEO of Kraft also known as The Big Cheese?
The more you know. Daylight Savings started back in 1964 when Jerry Daylight Savings was an hour late for work & convinced his boss all the clocks were wrong.
I wanna be skinny but I also want to have pizza for breakfast lunch and dinner, you feel me?
I`m not sure if this woman in the Starbucks line ahead of me is ordering a drink or casting a spell.
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
The right man breaks your headboard, not your heart.
Just because you have a beard doesn`t mean you`re a man. Last time I checked vaginas can grow hair too.
My girlfriend wants to get married. I hope she finds someone nice.
It`s so cold out I`ve turned 50 Shades Of Blue!
sorry abaut the message I sent you last night, my phone was drunk!
My bank statement is just a visual record of bad decisions.
I admit ive been known to wrap bacon in bacon just for the extra bacon flavor
I will never miss you, because I`m a really good shooter.
If we can put a satellite in orbit around a comet 4 billion miles away, perhaps someday we can put a working wireless printer in my office.