Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I bring my kids to a romantic restaurant on Valentine`s day as a birth control reminder to the other couples.
Now that I`m on Facebook, I can finally put that English degree I obtained to some use…
I may not be the richest guy...or the smartest guy...or the funniest guy...or the best-looking guy...or the .....:( Forget it, now I`m depressed.
New Years - the only day where its socially acceptable to drink this early.
I bought my mother in-law one of those atomic clocks. I can`t wait for the alarm to go off.
Sir, your burrito is $5.97. With guacamole, your total comes to $386,932.32
Half of life is screwing up…the other half is dealing with it.
What if "I`m coming out with a new scent" was just a way for famous people to warn others that they were about to fart?
I used to be a kleptomaniac but now I take something for it.
I bet you can`t keep the funny and not funny the same number.
Peeing in the sink is a great time saver: no lifting the seat, no flush, sink is right there to wash hands jk I don`t wash my hands.
Your clothes are making me extremely uncomfortable. Please, take them off.
We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up… After I finish laughing.
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.
i dont have drain bramage.