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The first step to admitting you have a problem is having a problem.
Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.
Facebook is basically just you having a conversation with yourself hoping that someone else will join in.
Not having any friends means I`m always the pretty one.
I hate it when I’m singing along to a song, and the artist gets it wrong.
I never said "you were stupid" I said "you are stupid", there`s nothing past tense about it!
The dollar store needs to go ahead and open up a few gas stations.
For a generation that allowed YOLO, BAE, and KIM KARDASHIAN to happen, you sure have a lot of f*cking opinions on how things should be run.
"Omg. Why does this store have so many naked pictures of me?"... "Sir those are mirrors, and we`re gonna have to ask you to leave."
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
If your girlfriend has $15 and you have $30, your girlfriend actually has $45.
Bring a side? Like, of alcohol?
Crazy to think back before camera phones we all used to sit in front of bathroom mirrors with sketch pads.
Once again its friday I know its only been 7 days since the last one but feels like its been a week....
My husband told me he needed more space ... So I locked him outside.